The Heart Is a Muscle (And I Wanna Make It Strong)
Based on the prompt: Lena and Kara - admissions of love under duress/stressful moment
Lena arrives with her overnight bag that after all this time is for show. Kara knows because one time she peeked and the only items inside were a bunch of socks. That’s because Lena will still opt to wear a pair of Kara’s lounge pants and her softest crewneck. And there’s no need to carry toiletry items back and forth. Lena’s skincare and shower products have had space in Kara’s bath for years (even if they gathered dust for a period of time). They order in, settle onto the couch, and start their first film of many for the night.
Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan bicker about caviar when there’s a sudden pressure at Kara’s side. She’s smiling before she even looks down, and when she does it’s to find Lena sound asleep. Kara’s movements are gentle as she shifts until they’re both snuggled in and covered by the same fleece throw. Kara drops her lips to Lena’s forehead, and then turns her attention back to the television to finish watching two should-be rivals fall in love.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU FINALLY TOLD ME YOU WERE SUPERGIRL YOU WERE WEEPING BIG CROCODILE TEARS WELL I WEPT REAL TEARS BITTER TEARS OVER YOU WEEKS BEFORE WHAT I THOUGHT HOW LONG HAD YOU KNOWN I FOUND OUT THE DAY I KILLED MY BROTHER LENA YOU DIDN’T KILL LEX THAT WAS ME I WATCHED HIM I SAW HIM FALL YOU SAM HIM FALL BUT DID YOU SEE HIM LAND DID YOU SEE HIM DIE I DID AND LET ME TELL YOU IT WASN’T PRETTY THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE WHEN YOU’RE A LUTHOR LEX USED HIS TRANSMATTER PORTAL WATCH I KNEW EXACTLY WHERE HE’D GO THE CABIN WE LOVED WHEN WE WERE CHILDREN SO I WAS THERE WAITING FOR HIM HAD THE GUN READY LOADED I COULD FEEL THE WEIGHT OF IT IN MY HANDS EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING REBELLED I DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT BUT I KNEW I HAD TO BECAUSE IF LEX LIVED THE WORLD WOULDN’T BE SAFE MY FRIENDS WOULDN’T BE SAFE SO I FORCED MYSELF TO PULL THE TRIGGER I SHOT MY OWN BROTHER IN THE CHEST HIS FINAL WORDS TO ME WERE THAT I WAS A FOOL AND THAT MY BEST FRIEND EVERY FRIEND I HAD WAS LYING TO ME WITH HIS DYING BREATH HE TOLD ME YOU WERE SUPERGIRL LENA YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME I NEVER MEANT TO HUMILIATE YOU NO WHEN I CAME TO THIS CITY I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WOULD NEVER TRUST ANYONE EVER AGAIN AND THEN
I
MET
YOU
AND YOU CHIPPED AWAY AT MY ARMOR WITH YOUR WARMTH AND YOUR EARNESTNESS AND YOU CONVINCED ME TO TRUST IN PEOPLE IN FRIENDSHIP AGAIN AND AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT I DID ALL THE WHILE TELLING YOU ABOUT MY ACHILLES HEEL BETRAYAL I CONFIDED IN YOU THAT EVERYONE IN MY PAST HAD BETRAYED ME ABOUT HOW MUCH IT HURT TO HAVE SOMEONE YOU LOVE LIE TO YOU AND BETRAY YOU I SPELLED IT OUT FOR YOU OVER AND OVER ESSENTIALLY BEGGING YOU NOT TO VIOLATE MY TRUST BEGGING YOU NOT TO PROVE ONCE AGAIN THAT I WAS FOOL YOU REASSURED ME AD NAUSEAM THAT YOU WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME THAT YOU’D NEVER HURT ME AND ALL THE WHILE THERE WASN’T A SINGLE HONEST MOMENT IN OUR FRIENDSHIP NO THAT’S NOT TRUE NO I KILLED ME BROTHER FOR YOU FOR OUR FRIENDS DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’VE DONE WHEN YOU FOUND OUT WHY DIDN’T YOU COME TO ME RIGHT AWAY SO I COULD EXPLAIN EXPLAIN YEAH IF YOU HATE ME SO MUCH WHY NOT OUT ME AT THE PULITZER PARTY WHY PRETEND TO STILL BE MY FRIEND THIS LONG BECAUSE I WANTED YOU TO EXPERIENCE WHAT YOU DID TO ME FEEL WHAT I FELT I UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN AND YOUR FURY AND YOU’RE RIGHT I MADE A BIG MISTAKE MAYBE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE BUT PLEASE LENA PLEASE DON’T LEAVE THE FORTRESS WITH MYRIAD PLEASE DON’T LET MY MISTAKE PUSH YOU TO DO SOMETHING TERRIBLE YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON NO NO YOU DON’T EVER GET TO TELL ME WHO OR WHAT I AM AGAIN DID YOU REPROGRAM THE FORTRESS’S DEFENSES TO ATTACK ME YES AND I RIGGED IT TO ANSWER TO THIS LITTLE BUTTON I HAVE IN MY HAND ARE YOU GOING TO TRY TO KILL ME NO SUPERGIRL I’M NOT GOING TO KILL YOU I’M NOT A VILLAIN YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TREATED ME LIKE ONE!!!!!!!!!!
in case anyone else needs to hear this it’s ok to be more serious. i don’t just mean ‘it’s ok to be serious sometimes’ i mean in general. not everyone has to be funny. it doesn’t have to mean you’re sad or unlikeable. you can just be serious and genuine most of the time and that’s great. i personally think that we’re too focused on ‘funny’ as the primary carrier of likeability right now. i often feel starved for serious conversation, for serious spaces, for a feeling of gravity. you don’t have make good jokes to give people a good time. i say, goof only as the spirit moves you, & don’t worry about it.
